Friday, July 8, 2011

Our Sweet Sam

A moment captured in the playroom a few days ago...


Our Sam is creative, thoughtful, sensitive and smart. This morning he read an entire Golden Book word for word from memory to his little bro Charlie. He loves animals and reading and putting on any sort of costume. This day, he was a doctor. He is such a cool kid... I'm so glad he's mine.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Ballerina Girl





Two days before Charlie was born, Chloe had her ballet recital at Saint Stephen's Church in Sewickley, and we were so incredibly proud of how well she did and what a fearless little performer she was!



Grammy drove all the way from Cincinnati to be there, and of course, Nana, Pop, Aunt Cici and Max & Sam wouldn't have missed it for the world.



Chloe's ballet number was to "You Are My Sunshine," and her tap number was to "Put On a Happy Face."


Such skill!




Such grace!


At the end the entire dance school took a well-deserved bow...
And the critics were kind...





And we went home as a family to eat Graeters ice cream and lift our glasses in a toast to our tiny dancer.

Congratulations on an excellent performance, our dear sweet Chloe. You are a beautiful little girl, both inside and out, and you fill us with unspeakable joy.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Charlie's Birth Story


Charlie is almost four weeks old, and I am finally beginning to feel like myself again. Things are settling into a new normal for our family, and first and foremost, I wanted to sit down and write out my thoughts and memories on the day of Charlie's birth before I begin to forget them.

June 5, 2011 was a hot, sunny Sunday, and we went to church in the morning as we always do. I was feeling crabby and uncomfortable, anticipating all the "Wow, still no baby yet?" comments before I even waddled through the doors of church. I had a tough time paying attention to any part of the sermon - had the chairs in the worship center always been this uncomfortable? I was having lots of contractions, but didn't think much of it - I'd been having Braxton Hicks in recent weeks, and I was sure this just was more of the same. At communion near the end of the service, I told Greg that I was ready to go... I didn't want to have to sit back down again! I went to get the kids from their Sunday school rooms and ran into several friends as we made our way to the door. I think they could all tell I was pretty much over being pregnant at that point, and they promised me that they would be praying for a quick birth - and the sooner the better!

I was 38 1/2 weeks! The baby was moving and grooving all day long in my belly, and as the day progressed I began to realize that the marathon was almost over... this baby would be in my arms very soon. It's such a surreal thought - no matter how many babies you have, I don't think it ever gets old. The nursery was ready, the crib was up, the pink and blue clothes were cleaned and folded, and the precious, tiny diapers were stacked on the changing table. Physically I was starting to feel uncomfortable, but emotionally I felt peaceful and excited and joy-filled.

In the afternoon I decided to go vacuum out the minivan so it would be nice and clean when we brought the new baby home. "Do you really think you should be doing that in your condition?" Greg asked. "Why don't I go and do it?"  I insisted on doing it myself.  Who knew? Maybe all that cleaning would push me into labor. Little did I know!


I scrubbed that car to within an inch of its life! I remember thinking that all the people working at the carwash must have thought I was a total nut. It was so hot and there I was, as big as a house, vacuuming like a maniac. I stopped over at my parents' house after the carwash and we talked about how uncomfortable I was getting.  My mom said, "Well, maybe tonight's the night."

"Nope. No way. Not tonight," I told her. Little did I know!


I picked up Sir Pizza on the way home and we chowed down, and then as the kids went into the playroom Greg and I settled onto the couch to watch 60 Minutes, our Sunday evening ritual. As soon as I laid down, I felt the most bizarre, sharp pain like something had popped inside of me, followed by a long, hard contraction. I sat straight up and had to breathe through it.

"Do you think your water just broke?" Greg asked. I had never experienced my water breaking before, so I had no idea.

"No, I'm sure it's just another Braxton Hicks," I said. Within a few minutes, though, it became obvious that this was definitely not just another Braxton Hicks, as I started feeling painful, regular contractions. I called the doctor on call at Magee and told him I thought my water had broken, but I wasn't positive. It wasn't a big gush of water, but more of a constant trickle.

"Your water broke," he said. "Get your things and come to the hospital."

I asked him if I could take a shower, and he told me not to because they do a test to confirm that your water has broken when you get to the hospital, and showering can mess up the test.

"I'd rather you just came now," he said. Still, I decided to take my time. I guess I just wanted to make sure this was really it. I called my mom and she announced that she had her bag already packed (I didn't even have my bag packed yet!!)  and she was on her way over. I told her to just wait a bit... I had a few loads of laundry I wanted to fold and then I needed to pack. I think she muttered something along the lines of, "Laundry?? Laura, give me a break. I'm coming over." Greg was running around the house, getting last minute things ready. I remember smiling as I listened to him running up and down the stairs. He was so excited. I was glad one of us was, because I was beginning to feel pain, and anxiety was creeping in close behind.

It must have been about 8:30 or so when my mom came over and we told the kids what was going on.

Chloe came into my room and saw me zipping up my suitcase. "What's that for?" she asked. I wanted to be really calm, so she wasn't worried. "Well, it looks like Mommy is going to have the baby tonight!" I said, trying to sound excited. "Nana and Pop are on their way over right now, and Daddy and I are going to the hospital so the doctor can tell us if tonight is the night our baby is going to be born!" We sat down at the bottom of the stairs as my mom came in the front door, and my sweet little first born's face crumpled as she started to cry. I tried to reassure her but the truth was, I didn't have the energy to get upset myself. My contractions were coming every three or four minutes, and they were strong enough that I couldn't talk much once they started.

I remember a pretty quiet drive to the hospital; Greg was concentrating on getting us there as quickly as possible, and I was concentrating on getting through the contractions. We were ushered into triage once we arrived, and that's when the contractions became unbearable. Wow! I was just not prepared for that much pain. I kept begging for an epidural, and they kept explaining that I couldn't get one until they had a room for me. For a brief moment I almost panicked, thinking that the baby might be ready before the room! Luckily, a room opened up about 30 or 40 minutes later, which was about the time that the baby's heart rate started to dip with each contraction. I remember them briskly walking my bed down the hall while the doctor explained to me that if the baby's heart continued to dip like that, I would be having a c-section, and soon.

Things started to move pretty fast. When they first checked me in triage I had been 3 cm dilated, and about 45 minutes later, after they moved me into a room, they checked and I was 6 cm dilated. Praise the Lord, I got my epidural. The anesthesiologist did something wrong and they warned me I might get a horrible spinal headache after the baby's birth, but I didn't care at that point. I literally told her that I loved her as she left my room! I was so, so grateful to be out of that awful pain. I think my friends who deliver without epidurals are completely nuts! My mom and sister arrived, and I remember feeling so happy. Happy to see them, happy to be comfortable, and excited to think that soon, after nine long months, I would finally meet my sweet baby. The doctor and nurse came in and once again expressed concern over the baby's dipping heart rate. The nurse turned me on one side, then another, and put an oxygen mask on my face, but nothing seemed to work. Each time I had a contraction, the baby's heart rate would go pretty low, often below 100. She told me that she wanted me to try to take a nap, so my mom and sister decided to get a snack and left the room. They had been gone about three minutes when the doctor came back into my room pretty quickly, reviewed the heart rate chart again, and told me flatly that this was looking like a c-section delivery. He knew that was not what I wanted, so he said, "I'll tell you what. I'll check you, and we'll let your progress determine what we're going to do. If you have not progressed much, we're going to section you, okay?"

Greg and I looked at each other and knew that we had little choice at this point. He checked me, and to my surprise and absolute delight, he said, "Well, I've got news for you. You're complete!" I laughed out loud... Greg and I practically high-fived, we were so excited! Within about two minutes, they had set up and I was pushing. Man they move fast! My nurse was absolutely wonderful, and Greg, as always, was the best coach I could have asked for. He is so encouraging and so calm. No matter how crazy I got that night, he never wavered. He was my rock that night, as he always is. I am so grateful for him.

One of my very favorite memories was when the doctor said, "You're doing a great job! Keep pushing!"

"I am??" I said. When you have an epidural, pushing is such a weird sensation. You can't really feel what you're doing. "Yes, look!" the doctor said. He pointed up above my bed, and there was a huge mirror that they had pulled out from the ceiling when they set up. And there was the baby's head! It was crazy, but just so exciting too. I pushed eight times, and the baby was out. Greg told me to announce what the baby was. I looked up in the mirror and cried with joy as I watched him slide out.

"It's a boy!" I yelled. This fearfully, wonderfully made nine-month mystery erupted from my body in seconds and was placed into my arms. It has been, three times over, the single-most miraculous event I have ever been privileged to be a part of. God is so good.

I love this picture. Greg snapped it as soon as I saw Charlie for the first time. My face says it all!


Our beautiful boy weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long.




Dr. Potus, Charlie, and I, about ten minutes after delivery.
From the moment I met him, I loved him.





We are so grateful that God has entrusted him to us. 


In the end, all my prayers were heard and answered by our most faithful God. Charlie's birth was such an incredible experience. Welcome to the world precious boy.


"But Jesus was matter-of-fact: "Yes—and if you embrace this kingdom life and don't doubt God, you'll not only do minor feats like I did to the fig tree, but also triumph over huge obstacles. This mountain, for instance, you'll tell, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it will jump. Absolutely everything, ranging from small to large, as you make it a part of your believing prayer, gets included as you lay hold of God."
Matthew 21:21-22 (The Message)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Our Precious New Arrival!

He's Here!



Charles Francis Smith
Born on June 6, 2011 at 1:14 a.m.
6 lb., 14 oz. and 19 1/2 in. long



Perfect, healthy, and a tremendous blessing to our family.
Pictures and birth story soon to follow!

7"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
   my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
   and with my song I praise him."
Psalm 28:7




Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Girls' Day Out

Last weekend Chloe and I had a special girls' day out... Greg and I decided we'd like to do something small with each one of the kids before the baby comes, and last Saturday was Miss Chloe's turn to spend a special afternoon with Mommy. She was allowed to have some input, and of course, the first words out of her mouth were "I'd like to go to the butterfly salon."

The "butterfly salon" is just our local nail place, but they have special seats in the shapes of butterflies for the little girls that Chloe finds absolutely irresistible. It's always interesting for me, because I was such a tomboy when I was her age. I had a CHIPS bigwheel that I tore down the street with behind my best friend David, and about 200 Star Wars men that I alternately played with and categorized into neat little plastic cases with something bordering on obsession. Chloe is all long blond curls, pedicures, ballet class, and dresses... I almost have to bribe the kid to get her to wear a pair of pants.

I have to admit, I am so glad she is who she is. When I was pregnant with her we didn't find out what we were having, but I was absolutely convinced she was a boy. And it's not that I felt disappointment about that, exactly - I actually love being a mommy to boys and hoped I would have one someday - but thinking she was a boy placed a certain amount of "pressure" on me, because I absolutely knew that I had to have a girl at some point in the Smith family progeny. What if the next one was a boy too, and then the next one, and then the next?  My goodness, I could have a whole herd, with not a sweet little pigtailed princess among them! Who would I bake with and have spa days with and read Anne of Green Gables to?

When I gave that final push and she was born and the doctor announced, "It's a perfect baby girl!!!" it was one of the most profound and exciting surprises of my life. Since that morning in July, almost seven years ago, I have watched with joy as she has grown into such a darling little girl. Last Saturday we engaged in one of my all-time favorite little luxuries - pedicures - and then went to Starbucks for girltalk and cupcakes. Out of the blue as she slurped her chocolate milk she asked me, "Mom, when you were a little girl, what were your favorite books?"

I spent the next fifteen minutes telling her all about a little girl named Anne with an "e," who had red hair and the most fantastic imagination, who was orphaned as a baby but then went to live on a beautiful farm on Prince Edward Island and had the most fantastic adventures.

"When we get home, do you want me to find my copy of the book that Nana gave me when I was little? We can start reading it if you want - it has fantastic pictures."

She took a big bite of cupcake and nodded happily.

Thank you, God. From the depths of my soul, thank You. You and You alone are the giver of all good things.













"God is good to one and all;
      everything he does is suffused with grace."
Psalm 145:9

Monday, May 23, 2011

Field Trip Friday: The Passavent Retirement Center

Since late last Fall we'd been discussing the desire to start serving somewhere with a small group of our homeschool friends. For me at least, the desire was initially borne out of selfishness... I wanted to teach my kids the importance of being dedicated to serving in our community, because that's what I'm supposed to do as a mother, right? My friend Melissa arranged for us to start going monthly to a local retirement home, just to spend a little time with the residents there and try to brighten their days.

We've been going for several months now and not surprisingly, it has turned out to be a source of joy not only for the residents, but for us as well.  There are certainly inherent challenges. Keeping the boys quiet and well-behaved for the duration of the visit leaves me pretty exhausted. But the sweet elderly women we've met are so grateful just to see young children and sit and talk for a few minutes that it almost breaks your heart.

It's also so gratifying for us to see our older children beginning to understand that they can have an impact on other people's lives by giving up their time to do something meaningful for someone else. Chloe, Megan, Ryan, and Andy have made us so proud with their willingness to introduce themselves, dance and sing and pass out snacks, and engage politely with these sweet old ladies.

I took a few pictures of our first visit, and unfortunately, my camera battery died before we got inside! These are a few memories of our group that day, playing joyfully and getting a little silly before we went in to meet our new friends.


Chloe and Ryan, never missing an opportunity to dissolve into kindergarten hysterics.

Chloe and Megan, who have become sweet friends this year.

The whole gang. Unbelievably, I think every one of the kids is actually looking in the basic direction of the camera and smiling. A keeper for sure.


"Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth."
1 John 3:18

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Am I a Christian?

A few weeks ago, I was working in our classroom and Chloe was drawing a picture at her little desk next to me. Out of nowhere, she asked, "Mom, am I a Christian?"

I paused.

"Well, what do you think?" I asked.

"I draw a lot of pictures, and I read a lot of books," she offered.

"True," I said, "But those aren't things that make you a Christian. Lots of people do those types of things and aren't Christians."

On and off for the past few months, we've been reading a book that a friend of mine recommended called I Believe in Jesus by John MacArthur. It's a children's book he wrote with his daughter that walks a child through an understanding of the salvation process. I reminded Chloe of what we read in the book and all that we've been talking about, and that those who are Christians are followers of Jesus Christ. They believe that He is the son of God, and that He died for all of mankind so that we can be redeemed and spend eternity in heaven with Him.

"Right," she said and shrugged, indicating that this was a no-brainer.

"Remember that when you are ready to become a Christian, it's nice to pray a special prayer to Jesus," I said.  "You tell Him that you know you are a sinner and can never be perfect like He is, but that you gratefully accept His sacrifice on your behalf and want to follow Him. It's really the most important decision you will make in your whole life, and Daddy and I are going to be really, really excited for you when you feel you're ready to make it," I said.

She nodded solemnly but then we got distracted by some disaster up in the playroom, and that was that. By 4:00 that afternoon, this 33-weeks-pregnant momma had had it. It had been a long day, we still had several activities to attend that night, and my back was killing me. My mom came to pick up Chloe to take her to ballet class, and I practically shoved her out the door with her dance bag and an artificially enthusiastic "Have fun!"

Two minutes later my phone started ringing off the hook - it was my mom, calling from her car. Oh great, I thought, Chloe's forgotten her tap shoes.  Instead, my mom announced, "I heard the news!!! That is SO exciting!"

"Ummm, what news?" I asked, wondering if she was referring to the fact that I had just stabbed one of the boys' inflatable hammers with a kitchen knife right in front of them and hurled it into the garbage in a fit because one had hit the other one over the head with it - again - and now both were crying.

"Chloe's news!!!" she said.

"What is Chloe's news?" I asked, confused. Chloe's a pretty quirky kid... quite frankly, this could be anything.

"She became a Christian today!!!!" My mom announced joyfully. "That is SO exciting!"

"Huh???" I said. "Oh, ummm, well, we talked about it, but... " My voice trailed off as I explained that in my mind, technically speaking, she had not yet officially become a Christian. I had always pictured Greg and I kneeling with her beside her bed in some holy moment, praying this perfect little prayer and then tucking her in and writing in our journals about the day our daughter became a Christian. Instead, I seemingly had missed the whole thing. Like so many other milestone moments in parenting, this was not how I pictured it.

As I threw a load of laundry into the dryer, I started thinking... How often do I get so caught up in the idea of being a Christian - the doctrine, the theology, the getting to church on time on Sundays, the serving because I'm supposed to- that I abdicate the most simple fundamentals of following Christ? Jesus went to the poor and the dirty and sinful, society's outcasts, and took care of them. He befriended them, loved them, invited them to eat with Him and His friends. He was always patient, always kind, always honest. He stood for truth when the situation warranted it, regardless of how it made Him look. He knew the Word of God and spent time every day in fellowship with His Father. He sought and obediently followed His Father's will for His life, even when it meant a horrific death on a cross between two criminals. He forgave every one of His enemies.

Being a Christian isn't just accepting Christ; it's becoming the image of Christ.

Chloe's voice from that morning reverberated in my head - "Mom, am I a Christian?"

And I found myself thinking, "Am I?" 

Of course, I have accepted Christ. But too often, I fear, I forget about the simple things He longs for me to remember about Him.

I can truthfully say that I long to chase after the Lord with my life, and I want to lead my children to have the same desire. Some days this comes more naturally than others. Some days I'm an utter failure and find myself broken, begging for forgiveness and help as I'm tucking the kids into bed. It's these days of failure that I'm most aware of the incredible gift that salvation truly is. No matter how hard I try, I will always fail. I can never be good enough. I can never earn it. It's mine simply because He loves me - and that is worth celebrating.

So celebrate we did. We invited over Nana and Pop and Aunt Cici and our cousins. We baked a chocolate cake and Daddy decorated a special chair for God's newest little princess. The boys became so excited at the prospect of the celebration that every morning since they have insisted they're ready to accept Christ.  We try to chill them out by explaining that we want them to really understand what it means before they do it; at the same time we're secretly thrilled that the idea of becoming a Christian has become more exciting to our four year olds than Christmas or their birthdays.

Each year we're going to celebrate Chloe's spiritual birthday - Monday, April 22 - as the gift that it truly is. Soon, we'll joyfully add the boys' spiritual birthdays to our calendar as well. But I hope that in some way, every day I can silently celebrate my own spiritual birthday, acknowledging the gift of my salvation and becoming, more and more, an image of Christ to my husband, my children, and the world.


9 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. 11 As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”[a] 12 For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Romans 10: 9-13 

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here! "
2 Corinthians 5:17